From Death Screams to Words of Hope

When Matt Bryson became trapped in a piece of farm machinery that ripped his foot from his leg, never could he have imagined the life of meaning and purpose that would follow this horrific ordeal. Eight years on and Matt is now the Peke Waihanga Peer Support Service Coordinator, which involves training and supporting around 100 volunteers with lived experience of the amputee life.

‘I’m just so proud of the team and the amazing work they do,’ says Matt. ‘I wish they could hear some of the feedback I get from the amputees who have received their support. It’s just so heart-warming and I can’t explain how proud it makes me feel. I would do anything for my team of volunteers—they’re incredible.’

Compassion goes a long way

A self-confessed ‘cheeky one’ when it comes to describing the amputee life, Matt is quick to suggest to anyone complaining of a sore leg that he can initiate them into a special club he knows about if they’re brave enough. And then he can give them some meaningful volunteer work to do!

‘You just can’t really understand what someone is going through unless you’ve experienced it yourself. That’s why the Peer Support Service is so important. It’s traumatic enough becoming an amputee, but having someone to talk to who knows what it’s like and what’s ahead in terms of recovery and rehabilitation and dealing with trauma—it makes a huge difference,’ explains Matt.

With around 4400 amputees living in Aotearoa, Matt endeavours to match new amputees with peer support volunteers of a similar age, type of amputation, and of course geographical location as much as possible.

‘New amputees have a lot of questions—how long will I be in hospital? When will I receive my prosthetic (artificial) limb? What about phantom pain? Will I be able to drive again? They’re concerned about modifications to their homes and worried they won’t be able to go back to work. How will their whānau cope with what’s happened to them? And they’re scared. Having someone who gets that because they have been through a similar journey is so important. Our volunteers give practical support and provide some hope.’

For those of us fortunate enough to have avoided initiation into the amputee life, it’s near impossible to truly empathise. ‘I had no idea about the amputee life before my accident—I knew absolutely nothing. I couldn’t even imagine it. Like most people I had no reason to imagine it. And if you haven’t been through it, well, I can’t say this enough, it’s all about showing a bit of compassion because that goes a very long way,’ emphasises Matt.

Like each of his volunteers, Matt’s own lived experience as an amputee and now as an amputee advocate, means he is well placed to understand and anticipate some of the challenges amputees face.

‘One of the hardest things is when you end up back at square one. Something happens to your stump, or your contralateral (other) leg, or your prosthetic limb, and just like that your mobility is limited again. That’s hard. You're back to crutches or in a wheelchair, and that's extremely challenging not only physically but mentally. It can affect your ability to go to work or school—your independence. That would be the hardest aspect of amputee life—when things aren't working well for you in terms of mobility. For some amputees, that can also be when trauma resurfaces.’

Death screams from the pit

Matt was alone when he believes a thread from his jeans got caught in the spinning blades of an agricultural auger machine while working on the family farm. 

‘No one was around and when I felt the tugging on my leg and the pain hit, I remember thinking that this can’t possibly be happening. I couldn't do anything about it and suddenly I was screaming and just trying to survive. When the auger was pulling me in, my whole body was in pain—it was excruciating.  My organs were hurting, and I can't even describe the chills. It was just horrific. And I couldn't do anything but scream—my death screams I call them now,’ Matt explains.  

While Matt’s workmates did hear his death screams, they initially mistook them for what they thought were the sounds of an injured animal.

‘They didn't realise it was me screaming in pain. They thought maybe our family dog had been injured—that was the kind of terrible sound I made. As I tried to pull my left foot out of the machine my right foot ended up trapped as well, but I managed to pull it out of my work boot. The only reason I got out of the auger pit alive was because the machine ripped my left foot off just above the ankle. My lower left leg got munched as well’, explains Matt.

‘When I looked down, all I saw was my tibia bone—no blood, no flesh or meat, nothing. That was extremely traumatic. I didn't really understand that I'd lost my foot at that time, and I didn't know where my foot was. But after my foot was torn off, I wasn't in any pain after that—not until the ambulance staff lifted me from the ground to the stretcher,’ recalls Matt.

Matt had surgery to save the rest of his leg. His amputation level is known as trans-tibial (below the knee).

‘When I woke up, I didn't care that I had lost half my leg. I was just so thankful to be alive. I’d made it! When I was in the auger pit, alone and terrified, I didn't think I was going to make it at all—I was certain I was going to die.’

Never alone on the journey

Matt Bryson didn’t die—thankfully! He is very much alive and utterly committed to the work he says he is privileged to be part of.

‘Being asked to be the Peke Waihanga Peer Support Service Coordinator was such a surprise. I’d gone back to work on the farm nine months after the accident—I needed to give that a go. I knew I would regret it if I didn’t. But supporting others was something that really helped me. I had no idea where being a volunteer would take me, and that’s not why I did it. I just knew it was important work to be doing. Having an amputee my own age to talk with after my accident would have been so helpful.’

Ensuring amputees never feel alone on the journey is what gets Matt up in the morning. ‘That’s the key really—amputees need to know they are not alone. There are others of us out there who have gone through a similar journey. That’s what it’s all about and that’s why I keep doing it. I love what I do and intend to keep doing it for as long as they’ll have me!’ 

Happy 3^rd Birthday Peer Support Service, and congratulations to Matt for a job well done!

As well as being the Peke Waihanga Peer Support Service Co-ordinator, Matt is also an executive member of the Amputee Federation of New Zealand, President of the Waikato Bay of Plenty Amputee Society, a Taiko drummer, runner, swimmer, homeowner, and all-round inspirational man!